First off, let’s talk about the way many famous wine magazines and critics “conduct” their tastings. Wines are generally tasted “blind”, meaning the reviewer doesn’t know what they’re tasting, in a “tasting room” (i.e., an office conference room with a big long table), against several other wines of similar type. Each wine is swirled, sniffed, and spat into a bucket, and notes are taken on the aromas and flavors. After tasting several wines against each other, a score is attached to each wine according to the taster’s judgement. Special care is taken not to allow any outside aromas enter the room, and the tasters are allowed only to occasionally take a sip of water or bite of a bland, unsalted cracker to “cleanse” their palate. These precautions are taken so as not to interfere with their judgement and scoring of the wines.

Vino Joe finds the above scenario preposterous and completely against everything that wine is about. That clinical process may make sense for a scientist, but is flawed in many ways. Firstly, one of the main points of drinking wine is to enjoy it with food, for goodness sakes! Secondly, few (if any) of these publications or critics give you any idea where they come up with their scores; for all we know they are picking them out of the air! So Vino Joe has a different process of reviewing and scoring wines.

First, Vino Joe will sniff, swirl and SWALLOW a wine all by itself, as an initial impression. Some notes will be taken regarding the very basic elements of the wine, specifically the wine’s fruit concentration, acidity and tannin levels, weight/body, texture, and finish. Rarely will you see superfluous adjectives and descriptives regarding the wine’s aromas and tastes; either a wine has good fruit, or it doesn’t have good fruit. Yes, this may be boring, but it’s a more correct way to describe wine. Sure, some of these flowery poet-wannabe’s tasting wine might taste banana, passion fruit, and guava amidst aromas of daffodils and lavender, but that doesn’t mean EVERYONE can perceive the same things. Describing a wine that way only alienates those who don’t “get” the same characteristics—and can make you feel like a fool. Yes, there will be some fruit comparisons used, usually berries or currants or apple, but nothing too exotic.

Next, Vino Joe puts some scores down in regard to what he’s smelled and tasted (explained below) and then tastes the wine again with food—several foods, in fact. If he doesn’t like the way the wine is tasting, he’ll try it again, another day, with another array of foods. Most of the time, he’ll taste wines with a few friends, and see what they think of it. This is all done in a more realistic environment: around a dinner table! Finally, he’ll look over all of his notes, consider others’ comments, and then score the wine in five basic areas:
Aromas, Tastiness, Balance, Food Compatibility, and Value. Each area is scored on a scale of one to ten, ten being best. For most wines, it is difficult to score lower than six or seven in Aromas or Tastiness, because just about all wines are fairly pleasant to smell and sip. Balance, however, is subject to closer attention. The Balance score encompasses the tannin, acid, and alcohol levels, in comparison to the fruit concentration. So if a wine has tongue-drying tannins but very little fruit to stand up against it, it will not get a great score. Again, a wine will have to be pretty unbalanced to get a score below six in this area, but wines with good balance will be rewarded accordingly.

The food compatibility is a very important factor in Vino Joe’s system. Does the wine go well with some foods? a number of foods? Will it clash with many foods? Is there one particular dish it can excel with? Vino Joe weighs all these questions based on the first three factors (Aromas, Tastiness, and Balance), and then tests his thoughts with actual foods. Generally speaking, a wine with good balance will probably be a good match for food. “Fireplace” wines—those that don’t go particularly well with anything, and are best suited to drink alone—will usually be penalized in this area. Finally, the Value of the wine is scored: does the overall quality of this wine merit its cost? This is where many wines get smashed. You see, Vino Joe is not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, and demands to get a valuable return on every dollar he spends. So a wine may taste just fine, but if it’s overpriced—or if Vino Joe thinks there are better wines at lower prices—the value score will be low. Note that Vino Joe also takes into consideration similar wines, from the same region, when computing this score. For example, most Amarones are well over $40-$50; Vino Joe will come up with value score based on other Amarones, as opposed to Chilean Chardonnays.

Then the scores are tallied and 50 is added to compute a final score. Why add 50? Two reasons. First, any drinkable wine gets 50 points by default. Drinkable means it’s not sour, not cooked, and not corked. Secondly, most people find it easy to understand scores based on a 100-point system. You grew up taking tests that were scored on a percentage basis, so you’ll understand that a wine that is scored 78 is about a C+, or average. Get up around 88, and the wine is a “B+”, or good. An “A+” wine would score around 95-100.

Don’t like the system? Don’t consider it! You can still learn about what the wine is like from Vino Joe’s commentary. Want to rate the wine yourself? Great! Print out a copy of the same sheet Vino Joe uses, and score the wine yourself! Feel free to post your comments below.